The slightly-larger-than-a-single-serving sized bag of Doritos, along with a bottle of sparkling water, is the perfect mid-day snack when you’re sitting hard at work. Even if you’ve dropped the bag onto the marble tiled part of the floor twice, it’s ok. The crumbs will just make the Doritos last longer.
Working your way through the large pieces of salty, cheesy goodness, you slip whole triangles into your mouth. Before actually closing your teeth to bite the savory and faintly sweet chip, you press your lips together to muffle the crunch, looking around hoping nobody can hear you.
Reaching back into the bag, you get to the medium-sized chunks. You place one in your mouth only to have it gone in a matter of seconds. You reach in again, grabbing two pieces this time. Closing your teeth on that double thickness, the crunch is loud, but it too is frustratingly gone in seconds. So you reach in and grab a stack this time…yeah…just enough…
You place that stack on your tongue and guide it in with your finger. When you close your mouth on it, you know if you bite down, the crunch will be deafening…so you press the stack against the roof of your mouth, sucking that salty cheesy goodness until it softens enough to chew discretely.
By now, your fingers have taken on a neon orange color. You scooch down behind your monitor so no one will see you licking them.
As you near the middle of the bag, the medium size chunks give way to large crumbs. This is the best part cuz you can pinch a full half inch of loud crunchy deliciousness, and slide your cheesy fingers into your mouth, dragging them between your closed lips and curling your tongue around the crumbling bundle, hoping to prevent chunky crumb spillage at the same time.
The taste is so overwhelming, that you get greedy and pinch 3/4 of an inch. The clump destabilizes and begins to break up. The only thing keeping them from hitting the floor is a bosom that’s now orange, gritty, and uncomfortably moist.
Finally, reaching the bottom of the bag, you don’t care anymore. You throw your head back and open your mouth wide, turning the bag up. You tap the metallic painted plastic against your teeth, forcing the last of the corn crumbs and cheese dust to slide out into your mouth.